2012

This post is about the movie, not the Inca/Nostradamus prediction

Everyone seems to be getting really excited for the upcoming Roland Emmerich movie 2012.



This movie bothers me on many, many levels. First of all, the limited knowledge I have about the prophecy of "2012" is not of global annihilation, but the end of an era of human consciousness and the beginning of a new era. It's a mass shift in thinking, and from what I can see, it may be away from materialistic and monetary values and toward human values and community. Goals that are driven by happiness and helping others rather than money and fame.

But enough about that, the real problem with this movie is Roland Emmerich's track record. Give Michael Bay some credit, even he doesn't have such a terrible line of movies:

Independence Day

By far the best movie Emmerich has made. Aliens invade. They destroy famous landmarks like the capital building and the Washington Monument. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum fight them off. Most memorable quote: "Welcome to Earth." I may be biased since I can't stand Will Smith's sense of humor, but this one is actually tolerable. Since it won the Oscar for best visual effects, this may have fueled Emmerich's "artform" of making a movie solely based on special effects and lacking any sort of plot.

Godzilla (1998)

HOLY SHIT THIS IS A BAD MOVIE. Matthew Broderick and Jean Reno take on gigantic lizard as it attacks Manhattan. Tanks and helicopters are decimated by said fire-breathing lizard. Puff Daddy and Jimmy Page capitalize with hit single "Come With Me." Creators of original Japanese Godzilla roll in their graves

The Patriot


Mel Gibson, enraged over the death of his son, leads an army of farmers and peasants to overthrow the king in 13th century Scotland....er 18th century colonial America. What's the difference? This is practically a remake of Braveheart. I've only seen an hour of this movie, but it was enough to get the point across.

The Day After Tomorrow


I will go on the record saying this movie is the worst movie I have ever seen. Every natural disaster teams up to finally take down the world as Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhall battle hurricanes, hail storms, floods, tornadoes, and infectious viruses. I wrote papers in college about how bad this movie is. A cruise liner sails through Manhattan. Wolves hunt the characters in a scene almost identical to the raptors in the kitchen from Jurassic Park. They run from the frost, as if it travels in a straight line, chasing them through the city and into buildings. The plot is SO horrible, I vowed to never watch another Emmerich film again.

10,000 B.C.


Didn't see this one. Do I really have to elaborate? See paragraph above.

I think the main focus is, don't be fooled by the media hype. 2012 is probably going to be a painfully terrible movie. Roland Emmerich should cease directing and stick to special effects.